A Holy Ghost Smack-Down!

After wallering (that's Southern slang for rolling) in indignant self-pity over my lack of "me time" lately with all the hours I've put into mothering this brood, the Holy Spirit spoke to me clearly. He said, "Me time? The only thing you are deserving of is death and hell. But you have received so much more than just 'me time.'" Thank you, Holy Spirit, for the reminder that I have received a much greater gift and because of it one day I will get to enter into eternal rest with my Savior. "Me time" is a myth and a lie. The sooner I realize it, the better off I will be.

My Triad

Back before we rang in 2012, my dear loving husband told me - I mean downright insisted - that I take a few hours to myself to write down personal goals for this year and up to 5 years down the road. That sounded a lot overwhelming to me and not really a task I wanted to do. If I was given a few hours to myself I could definitely come up with a lot more interesting things to do (i.e., massage, pedicure, read a book, sleep). But because he asked so nicely (insisted so nicely), and because he equipped me with some nifty tools, this girl could not resist. The tools came in the form of a 1-hour long podcast, 5 printed pages of questions, and a spreadsheet. That was one of the most romantic things he has ever done! Really though, it showed me he still loves me a bunch and desires to hear my every thought and dream.

I took one afternoon to oblige my sweet Dearie. And amazingly I soon realized that I have some awesomely cool ideas for our family's future! I'm not trying to brag, but the ideas were cool to me because I didn't even realize they were trapped inside my head until I was commanded to go and think and ponder and record my thoughts. Wow! I still have thoughts in there, which proves I still have some brain cells after 4 consecutive pregnancies in a relatively short period of time.

Maybe one day I will share my ideas here, but I'm still a little shy about sharing them all. I have this weird fear of writing things down, or voicing them, if there is a slight chance they may not come true. It's this weird thought that I won't experience failure if I live in denial. I bet Freud would've loved to pick my brain! And, not to mention, my brother told me this past weekend that he could “virtually hear my brain shut out thoughts that were not black and white - there's no gray with you, is there Emily?!" Well, haha! Jokes on you because I have a daughter whose middle name is Gray! I like gray. I wear a lot of gray. I'm wearing it right now by the way. It's a great neutral color, but it's not a good color for thoughts most of the time.

Back to what I was saying...I completed my soul-searching, goal-setting homework assigned by my husband. One of the tasks was to fill in a spreadsheet schedule that was Sunday through Saturday, and broken into hourly increments for the full 24-hour day. Turns out my spreadsheet was completely full every day between the hours of 8 a.m. and 11 p.m. I allocated at least 9 hours for sleep, which rarely happens in succession. I soon realized that I really and truly have time for 3 main things in my life: husband, children, and Jesus. In order to put anything else on my spreadsheet would mean one of those three relationships would have to be compromised. I’m not cool with that. Hence, the Triad was born! Now, I screen things through my Triad. Do specific obligations help, or hinder, me being able to meet the responsibilities of my Triad? I only need to be devoted to three things: my husband, my kids, and my Jesus.

I appreciate my husband making me put it all into perspective. For now, I have a simpler way of screening what items should appear on my to-do lists. So next time someone requests my assistance, I will ask myself, “does it fit into my Triad?”