Admitting a problem is the first step to healing, but I don't want to be healed. See, I have a serious infatuation with farmhouses, and one in particular that I cannot get out of my heart and mind. I'm certain I'm driving BJ nuts with it. We drive past this farmhouse frequently. It has been for sale for a long time. I'm sure it's still on the market because no one in their right mind would attempt to restore such a money pit. But maybe I'm just the girl to do it (probably not)! See, I'm so full of contradictions (that's another sign of a real problem). We drive past the house and I make BJ slow way down so I can take it all in. I guess I can overlook the rotten wood siding, the rusted tin roof, the sagging front porch, the leaning brick chimney, and so much more. I guess I'm not really overlooking it since I'm keenly aware of every single detail of that house and the property with the 3 barns, rolling fields, stocked fish pond, hardwood trees, and gardens. I've driven up the long winding driveway through the tall hardwoods to get an up-close view (it's vacant and has been for a long time - my family knew the previous owner). My heart almost stops beating when I get up close to it. I'm nearly sweating right now as I write this. My entire being was meant for this farmhouse, and it was meant for me. I can picture our family living there, the kids running through the fields, chasing after the chickens (am I really saying this?!), swinging on the tree swing hanging from the tall shade tree, sipping mint iced tea on the porch, hanging sheets to dry on the line, picking green beans from the garden. See what I mean?! It's quite near heaven on earth.
Tomorrow, I get to take an official look at this vintage treasure. We have an appointment with my realtor/friend to view it. I'm fully aware that I'm in a dangerous spot. I cannot be objective with such strong emotions. It's like the first time BJ and I went on a date. At that moment I ceased being objective. I knew I'd marry him. Lucky for me, my emotions did not lead me wrong and I married the best man that has ever lived besides Jesus. I'm hoping my emotions won't let me down this time. That's why I'm hoping to see the farmhouse up close and personal - sort of like a first date - so I can either fall in love more or realize that this relationship is not going to work.
Dearest Farmhouse, I heart u! Please return the love or let me go.
1 week ago